Love Cheaters

Yesterday I had a powerful feeling that I am cheated.

And it was not nice. I was trying to get all those thoughts out of my mind while making fun of myself: “how can I think of that?!?” - I was saying.. But the thoughts were coming back, again and again.. with more power and a hurting feeling. An empty space seemed to open in my stomach and my head was burning.

When you have such feelings you are so tempted to do (or you start doing) crazy things, just to find out if your suspicions are true or not. You embarrass yourself, you humiliate yourself, you do things you would have swore you’ll never ever do.

So, me too, I did a stupid, but maybe in the end, efficient thing - I followed her to see if what she had said was true (she said she will go out with her girl friends only, .. by taxi) . And yes, she was getting out with her girl friends, but not by taxi (some guy pick her up) and not only with girls..

Actually I didn’t get any obvious proof of love cheating, but the feeling was there, so strong, so intense.. I am surprised that I was able to fall asleep after that..

The next day, I tried to see if she lies to me.. I asked her about the taxi and she.. lied, saying that she used a taxi to get to the club. I suggested that I know she’s lying and she said that she did that for my own protection.. Ha, ha - that was a good one.. I have probably used that a couple of times too, with some of my ex non important girlfriends.

It’s like a “cheating pattern” that all love cheaters follow and that I can easily recognize (I cheated in love too). But I still don’t (or don’t want to) believe she is actually cheating on me. And I don’t want to become a jealous paranoiac guy neither. But maybe this is part of that cheating pattern behavior too. I should know, shouldn’t I ?

I don’t know - the fact is that it’s so strange and unfamiliar to me to have this feeling of being cheated in love. I felt it once or twice in my life and after you have it once, you will not forget it.

I just hope I’ll clarify the situation within the following days (like any other cheated guy :)  - patterns again).

Tags: Cheating as revenge, About cheating in love //